*BDSM SPECIAL* Wednesdays Rants

***B.D.S.M. SPECIAL***

 Thank you for joining me today for Wednesday’s Rants a BDSM Special. For years, BDSM has been linked to abuse. Physical and Mental abuse. Now, since my expose’ into the BDSM lifestyle, I have done extensive research into this to clarify this matter. While, “some” relationships teeter on abuse, from what I have researched, the majority of all BDSM Relationships’ are conducted out of respect and are consensual. The difference between BDSM and Abuse can be grey, but let me assure you, there is one clear defining trait that tips the balance … it’s called CONSENT.

Consent: (verb)1. To give permission- to give formal permission for something to happen. 2. Agree- to agree to do something. (noun)1. Permission for something- acceptance of or agreement to something proposed or desired by another. 2. Consensus- agreement on an opinion or course of action.

Signs of the differences between Probable Cause and Consensual BDSM:

 

1.       Signs of significant preparation. e.g.. Adult toys, music, bondage furniture, lubricants and safety supplies.

2.      Restraints. Abusers tend to restrain their victims with fear and intimidation, not safety clips and quick releases.

3.      We call 911 in a medical emergency, not when there are loud noises.

4.      The availability of mentors, reference materials and technical guides.

5.      SM rarely results in facial marks or marks that are received on the forearms (defensive marks).

6.      There is usually an even pattern of marks if it is SM, indicating the bottom held quite still during the stimulation.

7.      The marks are often quite well-defined when inflicted by a toy like cane or whip, whereas in abuse there are blotches of soft-tissue bruising, randomly distributed.

8.      The common areas for SM stimulation is on the buttocks, thighs, back, breasts, or the genitals. The fleshy parts of the body can be stimulated intensely and pleasurably.           

D/s or Abuse?

D/s is about the building of a trusting relationship between two consenting adult partners.	Abuse is about the breach of trust between an authority figure and the person in their care.
D/s is about the mutual respect demonstrated between two enlightened people.	Abuse is about the lack of respect that one person demonstrates to another person.
D/s is about a shared enjoyment of controlled erotic pain and/or humiliation for mutual pleasure.	Abuse is about a form of out-of-control physical violence and/or personal or emotional degradation of the submissive.
D/s is about loving each other completely and without reservation in an alternate way.	Abuse is hurtful. It is also very damaging emotionally and spiritually to the submissive.
D/s frees a submissive from the restraints of years of vanilla conditioning to explore a buried part of herself.	Abuse binds a submissive to a lonely and solitary life of shame, fear and secrecy... imprisoning her very soul.
D/s builds self-esteem as a person discovers and embraces their long hidden sexuality.	Abuse shatters and destroys a person's self-esteem and leaves self-hatred in its place.

 

Regardless of how you interpret this article, one thing is for sure. BDSM is a consensual undertaking. The giver and receiver agree on who, what, when, where and how often. If not, the scene does not take place. Another key component is that the receiver, has the POWER to STOP the scene at any given moment, an abuse victim does not.

So before you think you know everything about BDSM, take the time to research it more. Abuse is Abuse people! BDSM…is consensual.

To read more about this topic, I have listed a couple of websites below. Please take the time to read them.

Articles of Interest:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Bdsm-Or-Abuse?&id=274152

http://www.sirbamm.com/smvabuse.html

http://fetishexchange.org/abuse1.shtml

 

That’s all today. Tomorrow I will be sitting down with Master Reggie Alexander and discussing his life as a writer/Master and what his role is in his dynamic relationship.

Till then, KEEP READING!!!

Rebecca Joyce